Daydream

Let it loose. Feel.

—

I didn't bother to listen because I knew, it's beyond my capability. And say, which words coming out from home-freak heads I could buy? You'd break. I'd break. We'd all break. Bunch of fragilities tying each other's knots like an idiot. Build a glass-house from shatters. And blood.

You all would fall, you fool.

Don't bother to promise. Don't bother to believe.

Don't even bother to take a minute, an hour, a day, a month to consider all of it at all.

Til you slowly crumble by yourself.

Til you have nothing more to tell. Til you have nothing more to prove. Til you have nothing more to embrace within you. Til you have nowhere to go. Til you have nothing. It's basically a null.

It's no longer between you and you. When you realize, you're no longer standing on your own feet. Your place now is no longer safe. All you want is to head home while you're being all doubtful. Hopping from this to that station, facing all the dead roses you're going to be sick about yet still crave for more the next day.

Endless loop. Welcome.

Sanctuary

--

The burnt castle I escaped was not the worst hell.

There, the heads of horror.. we are, home-freak, flying free to dwell in a limbo

where home is a mere state of mind.

Distraction

Running on a straight line. Or too many at once.

The story will continue, please

I can. Not. Stop.

Infinity of a Void

The Oubliette you fear of could be my Eden to breathe in and out. Would you let me in?

Delusion, Oh, Pleasure.

Are you home I'll disappear in?

You're So High

 Babe, you're so fucked up. And so am I.

Erase You

Emotion

Things are going back when I thought I already got over them. Nope, it's not. I'm mad. I'm mad with everything. I'm mad with people how they are not being respectful. Is that it? They don't respect me, is it because I'm doing things bad? So they judge me? Everything I do is never enough because they're all not good. I'm mad with myself. See? I still have this severe self-loath. Things are just going around and around and it's going back. Do I only focus on the negative side? Am I being self-centered? Might be the case. What I feel, not that I can handle it. I only want to create arts I like. But, what if mine is not selling out? What if people don't love my works? What if people don't love me as an artist or as a person they can relate to? This is crazy. I feel like I'm an insane garbage to have thoughts like this. Everything, literally, will only lead me back to this. My option? To ignore everything and keep producing things, the only one. What I feel is just a burst of emotion, I need to get over it again and again. Maybe in days I could feel better and I could laugh and make jokes to everything. Maybe in weeks or months I could feel devastated. I think I just need to live it. I don't know. But well, fingers crossed.