Rage overflows and tears are shut like they're safe and sound. Not exactly I know where it begins, I begin to know nothing at all.
The needles under the skin are long gone. I sip caffeine on day on night, I'm not panicking, or maybe just a rise of heartbeat aka nothing really important happens. A certain something keeps bugging me, what did I keep in my grip tightly? Did I lose it now? Did I miss something? I'm irritated. The whole time now I spend being angry over everything I see.
"Did I just get betrayed?"
"Did they talk something about me behind my back?"
"Does he/she hate me?"
"I did exactly nothing, then why do you keep looking at me that way?"
"What a polite words coming from your mouth!"
"Did you just ignore me?"
Fuck off, really.
Going out of the house is the worst idea I could do. The existence of human outside the house is a threat to my mind. I feel painful. And at the same time, I do realize what I'm thinking, what I'm not capable of, and I can't stop hating myself for that. No mistakes occur, and like what I used to say, life is painful from the very beginning. Maybe you and I have perspective, and the minds evolve from time to time. It's always been that way.
What I see is rage; another form of pain that I keep hidden for the longest of time. Never heard. Never accepted.
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